Hammer on Anvil '

Last week I concluded a 3-part series about the recent trip my husband and I took to South Africa. The picture at the right was taken at one of the schools where we washed children's feet and gave them new shoes. By the time we were through, the water was rust-colored from washing so many dusty little feet. Some of the kids wore shoes but others did not. All were given crocs to wear, which are perfect because they are easily wiped clean.

Fast forward to a similar outreach I participated in a week ago at a local school. After what I witnessed in South Africa, this was quite a change. For starters, none of the children whose feet I measured were in need of a foot washing. They hadn't walked to school in bare feet on dusty dirt roads. Many of the kids were overweight, and I don't think I saw a single overweight child in South Africa.

The other stark difference was in the shoes these kids wore. In some instances, I wondered why we were providing them with new shoes -- one kid proudly exhibited his Air Jordan high-tops, which sell for anywhere from $100 to $200 and up. I thought to myself, this kid needs new shoes? A little girl came wearing what appeared to be a brand new pair of multi-colored New Balance sneakers.

The kids in South Africa were so excited and grateful to be getting a new pair of shoes. Not so much here in America. After all, who wants a $30 pair of Converse sneakers when you can have Air Jordans?

There seems to be a pervasive sense of entitlement in this country, and sadly, that was evident even in these elementary school children. Some seemed annoyed that they had to have their feet measured, and others argued that I didn't write down the right size. I assured them that at the next station, they would try on an actual shoe to be sure I measured correctly.

It is vital that we raise our children to be grateful for all they have -- and to not give them an overabundance. At our granddaughters' joint birthday party in June, our son wisely requested no gifts. Our granddaughters have plenty of toys and tiaras and dolls, and parents are wise to know when enough is enough.

Our kids need to be grounded spiritually more desperately than they need material possessions. Remember Deuteronomy 11:19? Speaking of "these words of Mine," God says we are to "Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."

I wish I'd done more of that. I taught our sons the importance of going to church and doing all the "Christian stuff," but I don't think I invested nearly enough time talking with them about God and His Word, and the wonder of dying to ourselves so we can be filled with Him and live our lives as He would have us live them.

Parents, do you need to make some changes in how you communicate love to your kids? They need your time and your presence more than anything else. They need you to be living examples of people who take up their cross daily to follow Jesus. Read the Bible with them and engage them in active discussion of what it means and how they might apply it to their lives. As they get older, teach them that they are not their own, because they were purchased with the precious blood of Jesus and are to honor Him with their bodies. For girls, that may mean dressing more modestly than their peers. Boys need to be encouraged to stand strong and pure in a culture saturated with perverted sexuality.

Don't let the television or computer be a babysitter for your kids. Be sure you are their main source of godly counsel. And from a very early age, teach them gratitude and the joy of giving to others.

My wife and I are going through a one year Bible together. It is one of those Bibles that breaks every day down into an OT reading, NT reading, Psalms, and Proverbs (going through Psalms twice in a year).

Some days a verse just pops out at us. Such is the case from the other night. We read a verse from Proverbs and both said, "Wow!" Here it is, Proverbs 19:18

"Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; Do not be a willing party to their death." 

What a line of thought! He has made a connection between the lack of discipline and death.

In our world today we tend to let kids get away with quite a bit under the umbrella of, "they are just kids." That line is cute for a while, but when someone says it of their 17 year old trashing mailboxes, sleeping around, defacing public property, doing drugs, or getting drunk at parties, it becomes ignorance.

 In this post, I'm not going to spend time telling you how to discipline your children. What works for my children may not work for yours. Time out, spanking, gentle correction, or grounding may or may not all have a place in the way you discipline your children.

The important thing is to discipline your child when he or she does wrong. It is not helpful to the child to just let him continue to do wrong. It is not loving to keep allowing her to do things which will end up hurting her.

If you are a parent, you have been entrusted with the care of that child by God. He has given you this joyous responsibility and it is not to be taken lightly. It is a huge responsibility to raise up another human being!

It is alright if our children end up being mad at us every now and then. They do not yet have the hindsight to see that discipline was for their own good.

My oldest son, who will be 3 in a couple months, doesn't like discipline. Sometimes he cries, other times he yells. It breaks my heart to upset him in that way. But if I do not take the time to teach him right and wrong, he has a much greater chance at making some very wrong decisions that will negatively impact himself and possibly others.

As he grows if I let him get drunk or sleep around because, "that's what kids his age do," I am acting as a terrible parent. I'm not looking out for him at all. Saying, "okay son, you may go sin, but do it safely," doesn't make any sense! Poor decisions can actually lead to my child's death.

For me to just sit by and watch them make sinful decisions because I don't love them enough to stop them is throwing away the responsibility God has given me.

One day my boys will grow up and I won't be able to discipline them anymore. They will make their own decisions a part from me. Hopefully though, I will have raised them to know what God declares right and wrong. Hopefully, they will seek God's will for their life above all else because I have loved them enough to discipline them.

Let's raise our children to love doing what is right.

Yep, that's Mama and Papa D and all seven of us.

At five years old I had life pretty figured out. I was going to be the world's first dinosaur-digging, award-winning writer/detective/historian/fashion designing/lounge singing/artist, stage and screen legend and obvious a Jedi that owned a coffee/bakery/comic shop. I was going to be a massive success and, of course, it all was going to happen before I turned the ancient age of 25.

When my mother was five, she would have practically told you the same thing, but when she lost her own mother at the age of 13, her priorities shifted. As tragedy hit her family, God illuminated her heart and sparked a ministry. She knew she was born to raise up others; she knew she was created to be a mother.

When she met and married my dad, they shared the same goal of being parents and hoped to raise a large family together. Months into their marriage, however, they found out that they were both unable to have children of their own. Devastated, they fasted and prayed, and yet still felt God was calling them to be parents. God opened a door and my parents moved to Alaska and ran a foster home to 13 Tlingit Tribe children.

My parents believed that the call of being a parent is more than just physically having children; it's a ministry of pouring a foundation and building others up.

Mom and Dad worked in Alaska for five challenging, yet joyful years. But when Mom discovered she was, in fact, pregnant, she was considered high-risk, and the doctors insisted she move to a more stable climate with better access to doctors. My parents were reluctant to leave the foster home, but God provided another loving couple to take their place. Knowing God was leading them into a new adventure, they moved back to Washington, and within that year my brother John was born. My parents then went on to have Elizabeth, Matthew, Andrew, Timothy, Rebekah and me.

Over the next 30 years, Mom and Dad became parents to hundreds. Not just to us, but our friends, and their friends and anyone who needed to be spurred on and encouraged. They loved, prayed and raised up anyone, because they believed they had that call.

My parents were created to be parents. They worked tirelessly, making sure they invested into each of our lives daily. They poured a foundation of faith and reassured us, always, that with God all things are possible. When I told them what I wanted to do with my life they encouraged me to "Take delight in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart." (Psalms 37:4)