Hammer on Anvil '

There is nothing like spending a couple weeks in a third world country to drastically alter your outlook on life. I wanted for God to stretch me and teach me and rattle my cage spiritually, and He more than delivered.

My husband and I, along with a team of 17 others, returned last Tuesday from South Africa. I thought I would have lots to blog about. But when I sat down to write, words wouldn't come. How can I communicate in mere words what I experienced in those two weeks?

For now, I am going to talk about gratitude. As I read the short epistle of Paul to the Colossians this morning, I was struck by the fact that exhortations to be thankful were mentioned five times (in a book with only four chapters!). I began to weep as the Holy Spirit revealed the ingratitude in my heart. He showed me my tendency to complain rather than be thankful. I have allowed the culture I live in to influence me in negative ways.

For the most part, we Americans have no idea how blessed we are. We consider it a hardship if our internet stops working temporarily. We get aggravated if our iPhone drops a call. We are annoyed if our favorite TV show gets preempted by some sports event or the president's State of the Union address. Other drivers provoke us to use language that would make a sailor blush.

Now come with me to South Africa. The little girl in the picture with me above is six years old and has spent her entire life in an orphanage. She was so brutally raped when she was 18 months old that she couldn't walk for some time. Remarkably, though, she seemed to be the happiest and most personable child in the orphanage. I spent about an hour playing with her on the playground. She was smart as a whip, was very articulate, and spoke English well. I didn't know her tragic story until later.

The part of South Africa where we were reminded me a great deal of the Phoenix area -- very dry and dusty, but mountainous and beautiful. I took old tennis shoes because I was told they would get pretty trashed as we played outside with children, walked with lions, etc. The fabric on the inside back of those shoes was already torn away, and after two weeks walking in the red dirt, the mesh parts of the shoes were saturated. As I packed our suitcases for the return home, I decided to trash the tennis shoes. They weren't worth bringing home.

Later that day Jim Blessman, the founder of the ministry we worked with, fished my shoes out of the trash and offered them to one of his employees. The shoes fit her perfectly and she was so delighted to have them that she almost cried. I didn't even think about offering the shoes to anyone because they were so dirty and beat-up. When I said as much to Jim, he responded, "Your worst shoes were better than anything she had."

I think I'm going to stop writing for now. Please take the time to meditate on these two scenarios I have just described, and allow God to speak to your heart. Perhaps, like me, you will need to repent because you do not "Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you" (1 Thessalonians 5:18). Maybe you take for granted the abundance of possessions you have, and gripe that you don't have more.

In subsequent blogs, I will continue to write about our journey. Stay tuned.

In the 90s Kevin Costner classic, Robin Hood Prince of Thieves, there is a scene where the hero is about to make his grand gesture: he's sitting in a catapult about to be launched up in the air, over a wall and into the unknown for the woman he loves.

It's pretty precious, and right before he flies from the contraption, his friend ask if she's worth it?

Last week I told you about how God is working and moving our family into a new home. Yes, well, it's been a crazy week. Basically, when we went to turn on the utilities in our name for the new home, the city said that the gas pipes and the entire furnace of the house are a no go. After three companies gave their bids, we could be facing $30,000 in bills before we even are able to buy the home.

Jeepers creepers.

The tiny, slightly reasonable adult in me is looking at the situation and saying, "Nope."There is no way I can commit to a house that is already racking up nearly half of its listing price, and yet, that still quiet voice is saying, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understandings. In all of your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight" (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Azeem: Is she worth it?

At this point I feel I am in a catapult. I am about to launch into scary unknown territory, and although I am well, a little terrified, I know this is something our family has to do. This is where God leading our family. We don't understand all that's happening and we are not sure what will happen from here, but I have a peace that passes understanding and I know I am supposed to make this move.

My dad says it best, "You want to be a part of the Lord's army? This is boot camp. Shut up and do what you're told."

Believers, I am stepping out in faith, doing what I believe I am being told to do. And maybe it's time we all do that. Step out. Get real. Admit you're scared and proceed with boldness, sugar. Life is about to get real scary, but that's okay. Why? Because as my grandpa used to cheerfully proclaim in what we called lyrical Tourettes, "My God is so great. So strong and so mighty. There's nothing that He cannot do for you."

So here it is: Doug and I are moving into the unknown and going, boldly, because we know God is leading us there. We sing out in church, "Where you lead us, we will follow" and now I am putting that faith into action. And friends, sometimes following the Lord is going to make you look like a lunatic. Can you imagine what a loon old Noah looked like? Or Moses? Uh, or Abraham? Jeepers. Faith makes you look crazy, ya'll. That's going to happen. The question is, even when facing something unknown are you going to live by faith? Will you follow? Is God worth that?

The catapult is set. We are flying into the unknown and we know this is the step we must take. Following God, believing in Him, it is worth it. And we couldn't be more excited.

Is God leading you into the unknown? Are you willing to follow where He leads?

Good morning, friends. My niece (and one of my best friends), Catharine Phillips, is guest blogging for me today.  Enjoy!

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That Monday was just one of those mornings. My 4-year-old woke up on the wrong side of the bed and nothing was to his liking. He complained about his breakfast and whined about being asked to get ready for preschool. He decided he didn’t like the clothes he’d picked out and felt that the effort of putting on his underwear was above and beyond what anyone should expect of a boy his age. The final straw came when tooth-brushing degenerated into smearing toothpaste around the bathroom counter and finally, apparently exhausted by the effort of putting on his now toothpaste-covered underwear, he collapsed on the floor, and demanded (over and over again) that I push the button on his battery-operated toothbrush.

I’d had it. I yelled with such volume that he immediately started crying. I was so frustrated that I kept yelling – about his breakfast, his underwear, his clothing choice, the toothpaste covered bathroom and that stupid button on his toothbrush that, until this morning, he has pushed himself every single day for at least a year. Through my clenched teeth and his tear stained face we got ourselves together, out the door and into the car: him to preschool and me to…a leader’s meeting for my Bible study.

I felt like such a failure. How could I possibly be a “leader” of anything, much less a group of women seeking Jesus? Apparently I’d forgotten all about Him that morning – as if Aqua Fresh Children’s “fresh ‘n’ fruity” toothpaste were the kryptonite of Christ-awareness.

The apostle Paul knew the frustration of failure.  He explains that although he "has the desire to do what is right" he lacks "the ability to carry it out" (Romans 7:18-19).  There is comfort in knowing that a spiritual powerhouse like Paul, who was used by God to change the religious complexion of the world, sometimes found himself doing or saying the wrong thing.


I read an article recently by a "reformed yeller," a woman who realized that her yelling was harmful to her kids and, determined not to be "that mom", she just quit doing it. Good for her (I mean that sincerely)!  Unfortunately, my own efforts to "just quit doing it" were a dismal failure.

At first, I did pretty well...until I was faced with a particularly nasty combination of bad attitude, sassy mouth and outright defiance.  My volume increased, my tone sharpened, and I was in mid-yell before I even realized it.  Just like Paul (Romans 7:15) I know what I want to do, but I do the very thing I hate.  And unlike that lovely woman in the article, I couldn't seem to try hard enough to change it consistently.

So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves…the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control…Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. Galatians 5:16,22-23a, 24-25

Love, joy, peace, patience…yeah, all those things painfully absent in me that Monday morning. To let the Holy Spirit guide my life is to live, not under the whims of my emotions, but by the power of the Almighty God, and the results are dramatically different.

I began to realize that my yelling was just a symptom.  The real problem was that I was allowing myself to be controlled by my son's difficult behavior rather than reacting with the heart of one who belongs to Christ Jesus.  I have to be filled by the Holy Spirit and allow HIM to be my guide, not my precious 4-year-old.

We have an immensely loving Heavenly Father, a Savior who died on a cross to grant us salvation in spite of our failures and missteps.  He longs to minister freedom from continued sin through His Holy Spirit, but He does not force it upon us.  We have to seek after it.  We have to put ourselves in a position to hear His voice and sense His guidance, which we can only do when we are in the Word and in prayer consistently.

Oh, how I struggle with that! 

But it is critically important.


Every part of my life.  Although I seek the Holy Spirit quite intentionally in my role as a Bible Study leader, sometimes as a wife, a mom, a daughter...well, those things I try to handle on my own.  And often, not nearly as well as I should.  I don't intentionally exclude God, but sometimes I don't intentionally include Him either.  More and more I realize how desperately I need the Holy Spirit leading EVERY part of my life.  Not just the "Jesus parts."

Seeking Jesus has to be the most important part of my day, every day. Most of us (especially me) can do a better job of this.  Not in a "feel guilty because you don't have a marathon-quiet-time every day" kind of way, but in a "this is the most important thing you will do all day because God loves you and longs to be a part of your life" kind of way. 

Sometimes I think we try to minimize the importance of time with Jesus.  We don't want anyone to feel bad.  Our Christian friends say, "You know, I'm just not having consistent time with the Lord."

And we say, "Well, that's okay. I'm sure you are doing the best you can." 

I'm not so sure this is the best answer.  I'm not sure it's always okay.  And I'm not sure we're always doing the best we can.  Our battle is a spiritual one and I am convinced that some of Satan’s greatest victories will be not amongst those who ignored God entirely but amongst those of us who claim the name of Jesus but whose neglect of our spiritual lives (i.e. time in the Word and prayer) has rendered us spiritually impotent.

Rather than just trying to make each other feel "okay," let's encourage each other!  Pray for and with each other! Pray that if God is calling us to give Him more of our time that He will reveal where that time needs to come from.  If we feel as if we need to spend a little more time in the Word, it may well be because the Holy Spirit is impressing upon us that, well, we need to spend a little more time in the Word!  God knows whether we're doing the "best we can" or whether we're allowing other things to creep into the place where He belongs.  Let's not be tempted to compare ourselves to each other - but rather let's seek the Lord for the answer as to whether things are good as they are or whether we need to change things up a bit.  And if He's calling us to change it up a bit, do it!

As I've sought to prioritize my time with God, I'm discovering that there is a softening of my reactions to things that once would have set off my yell-o-matic.  I have begun to pray daily over my parenting, asking specifically that the Lord would help me parent with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self-control.  Through the Holy Spirit, I want to reflect Jesus in my home as much as anywhere.

I want to follow the Holy Spirit's leading in every part of my life - especially those parts covered in fresh-n-fruity toothpaste!

I heard a story once about an elderly lady who was well-known for her boldness in faith. She loved to give glory to the Lord and felt everyday was a day meant to praise Him. She would, daily, stand on her front porch and shout to the busy morning traffic, "PRAISE THE LORD!"

Hebrews 11:1 proclaims, "Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see."