Fasting from Insecurities

Posted in , , By Nick Smith 4 comments

We all have insecurities.  We don’t usually admit it to others, choosing instead to hide beneath our well-put-together veneer, but the insecurities are right there, beneath the surface.  This past week, my wife, Sesha, and I decided to confront a couple of our insecurities in a unique way.
 
It all started with a rash.  On Sesha’s back there was a tiny, 2-inch long by ¼-inch wide rash.  It was the type of thing that I wouldn’t have even felt was worth mentioning if it was on me.  But my wife has an insecurity of fear.  She quickly dove into WebMD, fearing the worst.  What she found was a plethora of diseases that are associated with rashes.  She fixated on the worst disease and convinced herself that she probably had this disease.  The next step was for her to text one of her good friends, Amy, who is a nurse.  Can you guess what Amy said?  Surprise, surprise, the rash was nothing to worry about.
 
Fast forward several days.  The rash is still there and Sesha has a renewed spirit of fear, so we sit down and have a talk.  She wants to call Amy again and possibly make a doctor’s appointment.  I don’t like this idea because she is allowing her fear to dictate her actions.  Several minutes and one intense pep talk later, we come up with a plan.  Sesha is going to fast from fear.
 
Think about how a “normal” fast works.  You decide to give something up for a time, usually food, occasionally screen-time.  It is something that will require effort to sacrifice.  Throughout the time you’re fasting, whenever you miss the thing you’re sacrificing, you take a moment to pray.  The subject of the prayers will vary.  It could be that you’re facing a difficult decision, so you fast and pray for God’s guidance.  It could be that someone you love is sick, so you fast and pray for their healing.  Whatever the topic, your sacrifice causes you to have more focus on the prayers and it demonstrates to God that you are serious.
 
So that’s what Sesha did.  She gave up something that required an effort to sacrifice – her fear.  And whenever her fear surfaced, she prayed.  She prayed to feel God’s presence, His security.  She prayed to be delivered from her fear.  Two days later, the rash started to dry up and now it’s almost gone.
 
I knew the rash would go away, and Amy knew the rash would go away, but the point is that Sesha did not.  Even though she feared, she confronted her insecurity with a fast and came before God.
 
In the middle of this fast, I was inspired by my wife’s courage and decided to tackle a fast of my own.  My insecurity is regret.  We all have regrets; I know this.  And there’s nothing huge that I regret.  It’s just little things, here and there, dating back from now all the way back to when I went through depression (see my post Thorns & Butterflies).  They are little things, but they consume far more of my thoughts and energy than they should.  So this week, while my wife has been fasting from fear, I have been fasting from regret.  Every time a regret surfaces, I take it captive and lift it up to God.  I pray for Him to protect me from these attacks and to replace these thoughts with new, healthy thoughts.
 
I won’t lie to you; it’s still there.  I still have regrets and Sesha still has fear.  But each day, we are making a conscious effort to take up our cross and sacrifice our insecurities.  I am confident that God will deliver.
 
Will you join us?  I know that you have insecurities too – we all do.  What insecurity can you fast from this week?