20/20
Posted in blind, brigitte's posts, family, Mark 8:25 1 comments
I realized something today... a revelation, if you will.
My boys were being rowdy as usual and upsetting their Father who was trying to rest. As I escorted the boys out of the room, I felt an unfamiliar wave of peace wash over me. It has literally been years since I have held my tongue or tamed my temper. At first I blamed it on pregnancy hormones, then exhaustion once my youngest was born. Then I blamed my behavior or my hard-wired upbringing. And hormones. And exhaustion. And lack of exercise. I pretty much blamed everything and everyone instead of taking responsibility myself. Honestly, I was beginning to believe that this is just the way I would feel until my kids grew up and I wasn't being pulled in a zillion directions. I half-heartedly prayed that God would relieve me of this thorn in my side -- the thorn that I am. But in this moment of unfamiliar calm...it all made sense.
Once more Jesus put his hands on the man's eyes. Then his eyes were opened, his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly. Mark 8:25
All this time Jesus was shaping me. He shown light into dark corners of my selfish, prideful heart that I didn't want to admit existed. He pruned my fruitless limbs down to a stump with little more than the root system in tact. He poured mercy on me, relentlessly loved me, spoke gently to me, and even kicked my butt when I more than needed it. He never gave up on me. Now I see.
Jesus is calling me to rise up.
He commands me to rise up and live into the roles He wrote for me as wife and Mother. To open my eyes and SEE what He says is important and worthy and righteous. And in his amazing grace, He longs to pour strength, peace, and patience over me if only I would draw near to Him...fix my eyes on Him.
His Spirit ministered to me today in a way I had never before experienced. My eyes were opened. Sneakers in the middle of the living room floor do not warrant a full-blown fit... sibling quarrels can be diffused with a gentle word (or shiny distraction)... laughter really is the best medicine... these toddler years do fly by and are so precious... laundry can wait... and Jesus should be rightly placed at the center of all we do as a family.
The days of untamed tempers and selfish motives are over. I behaved so foolishly. I was so blind.
God forgive me.
My boys were being rowdy as usual and upsetting their Father who was trying to rest. As I escorted the boys out of the room, I felt an unfamiliar wave of peace wash over me. It has literally been years since I have held my tongue or tamed my temper. At first I blamed it on pregnancy hormones, then exhaustion once my youngest was born. Then I blamed my behavior or my hard-wired upbringing. And hormones. And exhaustion. And lack of exercise. I pretty much blamed everything and everyone instead of taking responsibility myself. Honestly, I was beginning to believe that this is just the way I would feel until my kids grew up and I wasn't being pulled in a zillion directions. I half-heartedly prayed that God would relieve me of this thorn in my side -- the thorn that I am. But in this moment of unfamiliar calm...it all made sense.
Once more Jesus put his hands on the man's eyes. Then his eyes were opened, his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly. Mark 8:25
All this time Jesus was shaping me. He shown light into dark corners of my selfish, prideful heart that I didn't want to admit existed. He pruned my fruitless limbs down to a stump with little more than the root system in tact. He poured mercy on me, relentlessly loved me, spoke gently to me, and even kicked my butt when I more than needed it. He never gave up on me. Now I see.
Jesus is calling me to rise up.
He commands me to rise up and live into the roles He wrote for me as wife and Mother. To open my eyes and SEE what He says is important and worthy and righteous. And in his amazing grace, He longs to pour strength, peace, and patience over me if only I would draw near to Him...fix my eyes on Him.
His Spirit ministered to me today in a way I had never before experienced. My eyes were opened. Sneakers in the middle of the living room floor do not warrant a full-blown fit... sibling quarrels can be diffused with a gentle word (or shiny distraction)... laughter really is the best medicine... these toddler years do fly by and are so precious... laundry can wait... and Jesus should be rightly placed at the center of all we do as a family.
The days of untamed tempers and selfish motives are over. I behaved so foolishly. I was so blind.
God forgive me.
1 comments:
Wow. You and me both, sister. Last week I had just became all huffy over a situation when my four year old says to me,"You just need to go talk with God." Whoa. I did. I had whined, complained and ranted with the best, but failed to remove myself and go to my Father. Thank you for sharing such an honest, eye-opening moment.
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