Hammer on Anvil '

In high school I met a guy, we dated for almost three years. We went everywhere together, including my family's VW bus road trip to the beach. We made plans for life after high school; however, not too long after graduation, we broke up and I was in absolute disarray. My whole life was planned with this guy in mind. For days I sat in my room and played the Smashing Pumpkin's version of Landslide on repeat and wrote tragic poetry. My parents were growing weary of always seeing me mope around and they asked often if there was anything they could do. I just quoted Over The Rhine lyrics to them and went back to moping, writing and lamenting. I was embarrassingly sad.

 Eventually, I began to open up about the hurt and disappointment I had felt. My friends and family listened and tried to comfort my crazy, but I was so wrapped up in my own problems that I lost sight of who I was and what I was becoming. I let hurt turn into bitterness and I was becoming a terrible example of the joy we should have in the Lord. My dad suggested that perhaps I should remove myself from my own dark drama and plug into something that is more illuminating.

These kids were probably fine five minutes later.

That week at church, there was a desperate need for nursery and children's church workers. I signed up and I was promptly placed on rotation to help teach.

My first day on the rotation, a little three-year- old was amazed at the "shine-ees" on my face. He loved to point out my facial piercings and he told me often that he "liked me anyway." I needed to hear that.

The next time I was placed with infants. I snuggled up to a cranky little guy that I was determined to soothe. I prayed, swayed and sang for an over an hour, and eventually he cuddled himself into a nap on my shoulder. I needed to feel that peace after some big fussing.

On my next rotation, I was leading praise for the preschoolers. We set out a box of tiny instruments and we sang, marched and made noise for the Lord. At the end of one song, a robust four-year-old ran up, almost knocking me over. He enthusiastically hugged me and thanked me for being "fun."  When it was time to go, he excitedly told his Mom, "Miss Hannah makes loud like a kid, because she loves Jesus a lot." I needed to hear that Jesus could be seen through my joy and silliness.

During one stormy night at VBS, there was a tornado siren blaring. Instead of panic and chaos, a group of six-year-olds huddled around me and asked if we could pray. We prayed and then lights flickered before going out. A little girl spoke up and said, "Well, since we've already prayed, can I sing you a song I made about a Popsicle? It would be funner than just waiting in the dark." I needed to see that faithfulness in action and joy through patience.

The times I wasn't working, I spent praying and on a mission to renew my spirit. I prayed for fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) and hoped that working with these little kids would make me overflowing with childlike faith. Kids, however wild and crazy they can get, are still more loving, joyful, gentle, thankful, patient, peaceful and kind than 90% of the adults I know. Sure, some of them need to work on self-control, but really who doesn't? When they are upset or hurt, they get over it amazingly quick. They do not mope for days. They get up and do something about it. They are resilient like nobody's business. They aren't ashamed to seek help. They don't let disappointment turn into bitterness. If they hurt someone, they are quick to apologize. They are amazed by things we adults scoff at and they find hope and have faith for all things. Even during the roughest times, children will find something to be cheerful about ... and this is the message I needed to witness. This is what Mark 10:13-16 illustrates so clearly. Jesus said we must become like children. At the end of each shift I left thinking, Man, I've got a lot of work to do.

Now, I am still learning to be both mature in faith and childlike in hope, and I still have mopey sad times, but Proverbs 26:11 has already called me out on that. The Proverb says, "As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool returns to his folly." Ew. I want to be fun like a child, but I am real tired of acting like a fool. This is  why I still volunteer for children's ministry at my church and precisely why I cherish it so dearly. It also may stand to reason, also, as to why I tweet so many of my children's, The States', quotes. We all have a lot to learn from children.

So here's your mission, should you choose to accept it: Whatever you are going through, whatever is happening in your life, I want to encourage you to remove yourself from your drama and plug into the Lord. Find something else to do that isn't sitting around and pouting about how things did not turn out the way you had planned. It's fine to feel sad sometimes, but don't be high school Hannah. Find something to be cheerful for, friends. Get out and do something different. I mean, if it is making you so mad/sad/bad and indifferent, change it. And if you can't change it, find something else to focus on.

Friends, you cannot control what happens to you, what others do, or the success of your plans, but you can control your attitude. Today, pray that the Lord ignites childlike faith, wonder and hope in your life.

I would love to hear from you! Have you been renewed by removing yourself from the focus? Do you have verses that helped you through a time you needed hope and peace? Let me know! I would love to rejoice and praise God with you.