Hammer on Anvil '

Have you ever been frustrated that you don't seem to be progressing in your spiritual life? I know I have. Sometimes I feel as though I take a giant leap forward in my walk with God, only to subsequently take three or four steps backward. I feel like I must be the most obtuse, rebellious child God has ever had to discipline!

Last week a verse from James came to my attention over and over again: "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you" (4:7). I have read this verse and heard it many times, but the Holy Spirit kept speaking it to me last week. It became obvious as time went on that I needed to do some major housecleaning in my soul, and I set out to do just that.

In previous blogs I have confessed to having a problem with anger. Extreme vulnerability and helplessness from the time I was very young caused me to erect barriers of anger. You see, when you are angry, you don't appear to be so vulnerable. It's a defense mechanism that I learned to master for my own survival.

I know anger itself is not a sin, but rather a God-given emotion. Feeling anger is not a problem. But if you suppress it (as I did for years) or do not learn to express it in a healthy way, it can take over your life. When God showed me that's what was happening to me, I knew something had to be done. But what? I have known Jesus for decades, and still struggled with this issue.

The answer came as I was reading Annie Chapman's Letting Go of Anger. First, I was reminded of a very important truth:

Absolutely nothing, including that which stirred up a fierce anger, can touch me without first passing through the filter of His loving hands. God wants to use everything that comes into our lives to conform us into the image of Jesus.

Yes, everything. And Annie should know. She was cruelly raped by one of her father's farm hands when she was five years old. Fewer things inspire rage like the brutal robbing of a child's innocence and trust. Yet Annie has worked through her anger and now helps others to do the same -- including me.

The statement God used to pierce my heart was this one:

As long as we hold on to things like anger and our perceived "right" to be accommodated, we will never progress in our spiritual life.

There it was in black and white. I asked God why I didn't seem to be progressing, and He showed me through this book. When I read this statement, He reminded me again of the verse from James, and told me I had not submitted to Him completely. He showed me I have not learned to trust Him, because I still feel the need to protect myself from being vulnerable. Though I knew the anger was wrong, I had no idea how to be rid of it. I had used it as my suit of armor for decades; wouldn't I be vulnerable again if I removed it?

Yes, I had tried "resisting the devil" so he would flee. But that's another important lesson I learned from Annie's book. Notice in James 4:7 the specific order; first you are to submit yourself to God, and then resist the devil. If you try to come against Satan without having first submitted to God, you'll end up like the seven sons of Sceva:

Some Jews who went around driving out evil spirits tried to invoke the name of the Lord Jesus over those who were demon-possessed. They would say, “In the name of the Jesus whom Paul preaches, I command you to come out.” Seven sons of Sceva, a Jewish chief priest, were doing this. One day the evil spirit answered them, “Jesus I know, and Paul I know about, but who are you?”  Then the man who had the evil spirit jumped on them and overpowered them all. He gave them such a beating that they ran out of the house naked and bleeding.

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28).