Hammer on Anvil '

When working with children, you get to say some of the grossest phrases ever uttered. Like when you see the little cutie eating something you can't even identify. "Where did you get that? Who gave you that? Put that down!"

My mom said that I once tried to bite the tick off an old stray hound dog. My reasoning? Apparently, it looked like a grape.

Kids are gross, guys, but they are so innocent. Once you tell them it's bad news, they steer clear. They search for answers and accept answers without fear, worry or doubt. This is why I try to be so childlike in faith and life. I pray I never stop asking questions, and yeah, sometimes making a fool of myself. I am glad I still have a lot to learn and I'm thankful I have a God that is never done teaching me.

The morning after the big storm, my daughter, Missouri, curled up on the couch with me and started to snuggle. As I sipped my coffee and fumbled through my phone, Missouri snuggled closer and I could sense she had something to say.

"What's up, baby cakes?" I inquired.
"Nothing," she spouted quickly, than reluctantly said, "Actually, I was really scared last night. I had the worst dream and I really wanted to come get you."
"Aw, sweetie, why didn't you?"
"Because I realized something. You said God did not give us a spirit of fear," she said boldly, "So if He didn't give that to me, I don't want it."

"For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and self-control." 2 Timothy 1:7

We all have insecurities.  We don’t usually admit it to others, choosing instead to hide beneath our well-put-together veneer, but the insecurities are right there, beneath the surface.  This past week, my wife, Sesha, and I decided to confront a couple of our insecurities in a unique way.

 

It all started with a rash.  On Sesha’s back there was a tiny, 2-inch long by ¼-inch wide rash.  It was the type of thing that I wouldn’t have even felt was worth mentioning if it was on me.  But my wife has an insecurity of fear.  She quickly dove into WebMD, fearing the worst.  What she found was a plethora of diseases that are associated with rashes.  She fixated on the worst disease and convinced herself that she probably had this disease.  The next step was for her to text one of her good friends, Amy, who is a nurse.  Can you guess what Amy said?  Surprise, surprise, the rash was nothing to worry about.

 

Fast forward several days.  The rash is still there and Sesha has a renewed spirit of fear, so we sit down and have a talk.  She wants to call Amy again and possibly make a doctor’s appointment.  I don’t like this idea because she is allowing her fear to dictate her actions.  Several minutes and one intense pep talk later, we come up with a plan.  Sesha is going to fast from fear.

 

Think about how a “normal” fast works.  You decide to give something up for a time, usually food, occasionally screen-time.  It is something that will require effort to sacrifice.  Throughout the time you’re fasting, whenever you miss the thing you’re sacrificing, you take a moment to pray.  The subject of the prayers will vary.  It could be that you’re facing a difficult decision, so you fast and pray for God’s guidance.  It could be that someone you love is sick, so you fast and pray for their healing.  Whatever the topic, your sacrifice causes you to have more focus on the prayers and it demonstrates to God that you are serious.

 

So that’s what Sesha did.  She gave up something that required an effort to sacrifice – her fear.  And whenever her fear surfaced, she prayed.  She prayed to feel God’s presence, His security.  She prayed to be delivered from her fear.  Two days later, the rash started to dry up and now it’s almost gone.

 

I knew the rash would go away, and Amy knew the rash would go away, but the point is that Sesha did not.  Even though she feared, she confronted her insecurity with a fast and came before God.

 

In the middle of this fast, I was inspired by my wife’s courage and decided to tackle a fast of my own.  My insecurity is regret.  We all have regrets; I know this.  And there’s nothing huge that I regret.  It’s just little things, here and there, dating back from now all the way back to when I went through depression (see my post Thorns & Butterflies).  They are little things, but they consume far more of my thoughts and energy than they should.  So this week, while my wife has been fasting from fear, I have been fasting from regret.  Every time a regret surfaces, I take it captive and lift it up to God.  I pray for Him to protect me from these attacks and to replace these thoughts with new, healthy thoughts.

 

I won’t lie to you; it’s still there.  I still have regrets and Sesha still has fear.  But each day, we are making a conscious effort to take up our cross and sacrifice our insecurities.  I am confident that God will deliver.

 

Will you join us?  I know that you have insecurities too – we all do.  What insecurity can you fast from this week?

Have you ever done something that was a waste of effort? If I was asking about a waste of time, someone might suggest video games, which is something I spend more time on than I should. When I think of a waste of effort, I think of putting all your energy into something and nothing come of it. Like completing a project for a competition, only for your partner to bail out before. Maybe weeks of training to run a race, only to be sick that day. For me recently, to work on a college class only to be told that it doesn't apply toward anything. As a Latin phrase puts it: parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus; literally, a mountain give birth to a silly mouse, idea: "all that work and nothing to show for it."

Today was Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent. When I was a kid the only thing I knew of Lent was that it was the time before Easter and meant that for lunch on Fridays, it would be fish sandwiches. I didn't like them then and I still don't now. I also knew that it meant a time when many would give up something; things like chocolate, soda, etc. What is the purpose of this fast? Is it merely just a requirement to follow? The prophet Isaiah wrote that the Israelites began to see fasting as such. They asked of God, "Why have we fasted and you have not seen it? Why have we humbled ourselves and you have not noticed?" (58:3) They missed the focus of fasting, what God wanted them to do with the time.

Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains fo injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter--when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?" (6-7)

All the effort the Israelites put into their fasting and assemblies amounted to nothing because their focus was misplaced. So, if you participate in Lent, where is your focus set? Is it just on what you're giving up, or are you using the time to bring your attention back to God? If you do not typically participate in Lent, is there anything you could give up and would?