Hammer on Anvil '

There was a point in my life, or well, let's be honest, several points, where I was spiraling out of control. Doing, saying, being the very things I knew contradicted my faith, but the worst of the worst was my absolute failure to admit I had done anything wrong.

As I spiraled out of God's will and into my own wants and desires, I had the tendency to grab a hold and throw others under the bus. They did it to me. They hurt me. They. I did not want to admit fault, perhaps because I was so deceived I believed I was completely innocent. It was never me. I never did anything wrong. It was my unwillingness to admit fault that caused me to stay put on that rock bottom for so long.

But funny things happen when you open up, stop playing a character and get real about yourself. You admit you do things wrong. You admit you walk away from the Lord. You continue to walk away, because you can't admit your fault.

The cycle continues, and will continue, until you can admit you were wrong. Admitting guilt is not good times, but getting out of the dumps and back on track is as easy as ABC. Say what? Yes. 1.Admit you were wrong. 2. Believe He is faithful to forgive. 3. Carry on seeking the Lord.

We make it a lot harder than it is, because we cover and mask with layers. You got so many lies going on you don't even know what you believe, but you are sure you did nothing wrong ... so why is nothing going right?

Recently, I heard about a dear friend who went into a full blown drunken disgrace. I'm not talking about a night out at a wild party with one too many. No, he has been straggling in the same drink, drank, drunk pattern for years now. It's more than just an occasional beer, this is a habitual drunken lifestyle, with rigid repercussions. This month, in his belligerence he drank, got way drunk and decided it was a stellar idea to go ahead and bike to work. Not surprisingly, upon arrival he was promptly fired and within a few days, without income, he struggled to pay rent. He has continued to struggle because he flat out refuses that he has a problem.

You see, he can't admit his fault and so he can't get out of this rut. He continues to feel God has left him and yet refuses to see where he wandered away from the Lord. I want to shake him and say, "God doesn't leave!" His refusal to admit his own faults makes him blind to the truth and hope that surround. He has no choice but to continue on this dangerous path, because he can't admit he made a wrong turn.

It's absolutely heartbreaking.

Friend, perhaps your downward spiral, your constant conflict, might just be the warning that you have been wrong. Now is the time to check your heart, admit your fault and return to the Lord.

"Return, faithless Israel," declares the Lord. "I will not look on you in anger, for I am merciful," declares the Lord; "I will not be angry forever. Only acknowledge your guilt, that you rebelled against the Lord your God and scattered your favors among foreigners under every green tree, and that you have not obeyed my voice, declares the Lord" (Jeremiah 3:12-13).

My four year old son, Indie, loves to ask questions. Not just the typical, inquisitive kid stuff like "why," but he really enjoys getting to know others. He will ask you what your favorite toy was when you were a child, or how you slept, how much you love the coffee you're drinking, or what Jesus has been telling you.


No, really. He asks this all the time. And then he loves to share what he is learning from the Lord. It's incredible to see this little guy develop his own relationship with the Lord.

Last Sunday I was making dinner when Indie cheerfully came into the kitchen. He stood beside me, looked up, smiled and said, "Jesus loves us just the way we are."

Delighted and somewhat puzzled, I said, "Well, yes He does, buddy. Did you hear that in kids' church this morning?"

"Oh, no, it's just something Jesus told me," he nonchalantly replied.

"Really? Well, what else has Jesus told you?" I inquired.

"We should be thankful for what we already have and keep our hands to ourselves." He stood there sweetly, happy to share what the Lord has been speaking to him.

I didn't even know what to say. I am blown away by his faith, his kindness, his genuine interest in sharing the Lord. I hugged my little guy, and then he brightly asked, "Mom, what has Jesus told you?"

We've made evangelism, discipleship and our faith look and feel way harder than it is. We've put rules and unnecessary limits on what God can or should look like when manifested in our own daily lives. We don't want to get to know God, ask Him the big or little questions, because we keep trying to fit God into our little boxes.

Believers, you can have the bumper sticker, wear the shirt, go to every service that is held, and listen to the clean radio all you want to, but if you don't take the time to get to know the Lord, what you share won't matter. When you do know the Lord, you  cheerfully share Him because He matters to you.

Friends, sharing your faith has very little to do with you "saving" anybody. You can't. Your job is not to save, but to share. Jesus saves. You share what He is doing in your life. That's all.

I pray you take this reminder and go forth to share what light the Lord has shown you.

What has the Lord told you today?

Days before our big move to our new home, my daughter, Missouri, asked if it was okay to like something now that you once made fun of or even claimed you hated.

I heard a story once about an elderly lady who was well-known for her boldness in faith. She loved to give glory to the Lord and felt everyday was a day meant to praise Him. She would, daily, stand on her front porch and shout to the busy morning traffic, "PRAISE THE LORD!"

Hebrews 11:1 proclaims, "Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see."

Our church has been doing a study about what you need to carry around with you in life, taking Colossians 3 as its base scriptures. The sermons have really been hitting home and it's been awesome watching God work in our individual lives as a body of believers.

Also, it's been incredibly painful.

"Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful" (Colossians 3:12-15).

"Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid" (Proverbs 12:1). And if that one doesn't smack you in the face, read Proverbs 13:4, too.

"This is what the Lord says: Don’t let the wise boast in their wisdom, or the powerful boast in their power, or the rich boast in their riches. But those who wish to boast boast in this alone: that they truly know me and understand that I am the Lord who demonstrates unfailing love and who brings justice and righteousness to the earth, and that I delight in these things. I, the Lord, have spoken!"  (Jeremiah 9:23-24)

Have you ever been lied to? No, like, "Whoa. There is no way anything you're saying is right" kind of lied to?  I have. Honey, I grew up in church. We are all magnificent liars.

It's easy to lie, because we do it every day that we pretend we don't have a problem. We want to make church and Christianity look like that one R.E.M song sounds, but believers, we are not all Shiny, Happy People. We all have battles.

Sometime the hardest thing to be is transparent about the things you are still fighting.

1 John 1:8- 10 says, "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us."

Don't let my cartoony nature fool you, sucka. I still wear the scars from when I found some kind of comfort in a razor across my skin. I like to pretend that you all don't know I'm crazy, but the truth is this girl was Mayor of Crazy Town. I went there. I got elected. I made Britney look like a little case of PMS.

I don't diminish what God has done in my life, but I want you to know how badly I still need the Lord. Friends, I've been to crazy and back, and it's way to easy to hop on the train back to crazy town. I have to submit to the Lord and daily ask for His strength and guidance. And the one thing I learned is that regardless of how much I love Jesus, I can not change myself. So I lied, and hid, and cried. And when people asked me how I was doing, I learned to say, "Good. And you?" And then I learned to do that with enthusiasm. It's a coping mechanism. You become a character. And then it's easy to pretend that you aren't struggling with something dark, dealing with something mean, dying on the inside. The world is your stage. The church is full of actors.

I played that part for 15-plus years, but God never wanted me to play that part. God helped me break through this cement mask. I opened up about my rape and the hurt I still carried and my life began to change. I am still Hannah, but I have hope. I found that opening up helped others begin to open up. And then my church, where I've been attending for nearly 12 years, became less like a country club and more like a support group of weirdos, ready to bond together and go where God leads. And when my church started clearing the proverbial stage, things got real.

God becomes real with you when you get real with God. Admit, confess and do that daily. Find others believers who can admit they're broken, too, and then pray for God to bind you together, to weather this storm. I've been reading Colossians 3 a lot. Read that.

Listen, I've played church my whole life. I've seen every sin in the book, and I've done most of them, and all within the church. Let me assure you that your personal struggles do not Houdini out of your life the minute you admit that you love Jesus. Jesus is magic, ya'll. He came to show us how to act and direct us to the Father, but we are still the same people. God can't make us new until we confess that the yuck we are carrying around is getting real old.

And we don't want to admit we're broken and hurt. We have learned to adapt to this kind of hurt,  to survive, not talk about it, and pretend to fit into the mold of  "We don't rejoice in struggles, because we have no struggles." The truth is, we're all a hot mess. Everyone is dealing with something, and it's easier to pick out the smudge on your brothers face than deal with your own gaping wound.

We've been lied to, guys. And we've been lied to for so long that we've begun to get comfortable with lies. We think this is how the church looks, how Christianity should feel. We play church, pretend through faith, and honestly, it's starting to look like we've just become comfortable with being miserable.

And yet, we still don't want to admit we're miserable. "Nah, I got this." Guys, God is not glorified in the pretty picture you pretend and project. Remember what Paul said, "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me" (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Maybe it's time we get real, honest and transparent about the fact we are still people. People who still need the Lord. People who love Jesus, but still have addictions, hurts, failures and faults. Don't fear who you are, fear the Lord and what He says will happen if we don't turn back to Him. The Lord means it.

It's not a real vacation for our family until someone ends up in the ER.

I'm not saying all of our vacations end in some sort of terror, but we have yet to have a vacation where we didn't add to our super sweet hospital ID bracelet collection.

The week was supposed to be a week of family, free St. Louis fun and some much needed quiet time while fishing. What actually happened was a week of heartache, huge storms, sickness, vomit, dehydration and the obligatory venture to a scary St. Louis ER experience.

The morning we were supposed to be leaving, I woke early to pack and clean. My family is fierce when it comes to dealing with the weird things that happen in life, but I was more than ready to get away from this summer getaway. While wringing out the clothing that never dried from the first batch of storms we were caught in, I heard my son crying. Before I got to his side, his cries turned into screams. He said his head hurt and was unable to lift his head from the pillow without crying in pain.

Ah yes, we have yet to meet our ER quota, I thought.

When we reached the ER, doctors said Indie probably had some nasty swimmers ear going on, but after the third doctor to came in to evaluate, the tone changed and it had been decided that Indie's stiff neck/ear infection combo was, probably, dun-dun-da: meningitis.

And I wish I could tell you that this was the most terrifying thing I have ever heard, but this is not the first time the Jones family has faced a meningitis scare. Two years ago, on vacation, we were exposed to a viral strand  through a family friend. We had a get together and by the time we drove the 3 hours to get back home, we were informed that the guy complaining of a stiff neck and probable cold had died in the ER that afternoon. Whoa. Thankfully, we were all cleared and the Jones family lives on to hear other scary diagnoses another day.

 By the time slow moving techs got the blood test ready, Indie, who was in considerable pain, began to panic. We've been then through a lot and that boy gets real freaked out by doctors, needles and the idea of being in any ER. He began to cry, and crying got louder, and then he yelled, "Please, don't give me a shot." He knew that the next step in this disaster was testing, but what he couldn't understand is just how crucial the testing is. "Buddy," I tried to soothe, "You have got to calm down. We have to do these tests." He was absolutely hysterical and inconsolable at this time. More men came in to hold him down, and eventually held him down by stretching a blanket across his chest, and having two large men sit on the sides of it, restraining this poor, terrified four-year-old. He screamed, "I'm not brave. I'm just Indiana. I'm not the real Indiana Jones!" I tried to comfort him, but he would not calm down. The fear of the needle and the hurt was causing a riot within him and the worry of meningitis was killing Doug and me. Indie cried more, tried to kick free and screamed octaves Mariah Carey couldn't hit. I stood there in a mom daze, as a tech pushed me out of the way.

As they prepared the second tiny butterfly needle, (the first was kicked out of their hands), Indie screamed, "There has to be another waaaaaay." My heart was broken here. I was beyond worried, and although I wanted all this to stop, I knew we had to test and hopefully rule out meningitis. There was no other way. That tiny needle prick had to happen. He had to calm down.

The needle prick was tiny and the blood drawn was quick, but we waited in panic, fearing the results. We prayed for peace that would pass this understanding and waited. That waiting was brutal. Two hours later we were told that he did not have meningitis. Another hour later we were discharged, frazzled, with diagnoses of a nasty ear infection and a bad neck ache.

All that screaming, fear, panic and tears - for something pretty fixable.

On the drive home I couldn't help to think that this might be how our Heavenly Father feels as He watches us writhe in pain, typically from our own doing, and He tries to calm us down so He can help. I can imagine Him saying, "Child, I know this hurts, but just hold still, let Me take care of you. This test might hurt for a second, but it's the only way I can fix you."

Believers, there are no other ways that heal like our God, but to be healed completely, you need to go through the tests, no matter how scary they seem.

Have you ever felt like you can't handle the test? Have you ever felt beaten, defeated, lost and forgotten? Do you feel like your wounds are left open and beyond repair? Or maybe the sores run so deep you don't know if you can be soothed? I've been there too. You want help, but find yourself crying out, "There has to be another way?!" Believers, you need to see our Great Physician. Don't be afraid of the test and treatments. The test are not as bad as you think and the little needle prick is a whole lot less scary than the potentially fatal diagnoses. It's time to get yourself together, let the test happen, and let the Lord do what He does best. Let Him restore you.

Isaiah 1:5 says, "Why should you be beaten anymore? Why do you persist in rebellion? Your whole head is injured, your whole heart afflicted."

Now is the time to stop being afraid of the needed tests and big treatments. You need to be healed. Psalms 147:3 says, "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."

Yes, that was not an ideal vaca, but I am thankful for a God who is still teaching me patience, peace and how to be content in all situations. God uses the hurts, fails, falls, tests and trials to remind us of how much we need Him. I'm thankful that God has given me such a faithful and patient family as we learn this together. I'm thankful that none of the hurts I have are ever too big for our God to fix. He can turn your mourning into dancing and your fears into shouts of joy.

Music is a big deal at our house and the States call this song the "Vacation Song." Despite what happens in life, we are happy to have each other and thankful we have the Lord who guides us through the scary things. I pray you have time to listen to this song, read some Bible and have a talk with our Great Physician. Let the Lord wrap His arms around you, surround you with peace, and calm you down. Let the Lord guide you into a place of hope, healing and contentment.

When working with children, you get to say some of the grossest phrases ever uttered. Like when you see the little cutie eating something you can't even identify. "Where did you get that? Who gave you that? Put that down!"

My mom said that I once tried to bite the tick off an old stray hound dog. My reasoning? Apparently, it looked like a grape.

Kids are gross, guys, but they are so innocent. Once you tell them it's bad news, they steer clear. They search for answers and accept answers without fear, worry or doubt. This is why I try to be so childlike in faith and life. I pray I never stop asking questions, and yeah, sometimes making a fool of myself. I am glad I still have a lot to learn and I'm thankful I have a God that is never done teaching me.

The morning after the big storm, my daughter, Missouri, curled up on the couch with me and started to snuggle. As I sipped my coffee and fumbled through my phone, Missouri snuggled closer and I could sense she had something to say.

"What's up, baby cakes?" I inquired.
"Nothing," she spouted quickly, than reluctantly said, "Actually, I was really scared last night. I had the worst dream and I really wanted to come get you."
"Aw, sweetie, why didn't you?"
"Because I realized something. You said God did not give us a spirit of fear," she said boldly, "So if He didn't give that to me, I don't want it."

"For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and self-control." 2 Timothy 1:7

I quote and reference movies a lot. Usually at inappropriate times and typically the quotes are from Star Wars, Drop Dead Gorgeous, really bad horror and pretty much all of Christopher Guest movies. Why? Cause just like Nigel Tufnel's amp in This is Spinal Tap, I go to eleven, guys.

This one goes to eleven.

I don't want to be some kind of brash, loud, all-up-in-yo'-face type of person, but I don't think I've been given the luxury to always remain quiet and calm either. Job 32:18-19 says, "For I am full of words, and the spirit within me compels me; inside I am like bottled-up wine, like new wineskins ready to burst."

Sometimes it feels like there's a riot inside me and when God starts talking to my spirit, you better believe I'm going to talk about it. I would be a jerk not to share what God is doing.

And what is God doing? Last week I wrote about 1 Samuel 17, how David carried the head of the slain Goliath around with him, and how it's about time we believers start telling others, showing the gore, per say, and yelling, "Look what God has done!!"

The whole idea of storytelling made me think of my favorite films and then a question arose: If your life was a movie, would you pay to see it? Believers, would you want to watch your story? Or would it be one of those movies that looks alright, but just sits in your Netflix queue?

I can't think of the whole, "Your life as a movie" without listening to Macklemore and Ryan Lewis' amazing song, Life Is Cinema. By round two of the song, I was on the floor, before my God, straight up ugly crying. Like the Steel Magnolia's, "Shelby, don't be stupid" kind of ugly crying. (Don't pretend you haven't been there, haters. God gets real when you quit telling Him when and where He is allowed to speak to you.)

 I am not going to post that song here, because it has legit dirty words and ya'll are still real into pretending that your life movie doesn't occasionally feature the f-bomb. But I will post some of that lyrical truth, and then remind you that truth is truth, regardless of the source.

"Humble me, give me a conflict, a hardship, let me break through this cement
They're gonna be so disappointed when they roll the credits in
I realized that my movie sucked and I was the only one that could edit it."

Guys, the world is an enraged, in-caged monkey, throwing heaps of defecation right in your direction. Sure, that'll make a hilarious video on YouTube, but I want my life to be more than just a blurb about a zoo fail that went viral. I want my story to be an award-winning, possible sob-inducing, life-changing cinema lived victoriously for my Savior. Can I get an "Amen!?"

In this life you have few absolutes or guarantees. And let me be the first to tell you that the poo-wielding monkey flings without discretion. If you live in this world you are covered up and surrounded in it too! We are all trying to figure how to deal with the crap that's been thrown at us. The difference is we believers are supposed to take this conflict and make a story out of it worth sharing.

 Believers, we have got to step back and look at what our faith looks like to others. We should call our movie: Christians Living like Christians. It will star Kirk Cameron, show how we love to shop at discount stores for things we don't need, and will teach the proper ways to land a stellar side hug.

Is that what we want to be known for? What victory are you celebrating?

Christians, we are the worlds worst directors and biggest critics. We complain, compare and condemn everything that doesn't fit into our boxes of acceptable, when it is those very boxes that are holding us back from being real, relevant, and redeemed. We spend all this time and effort reaching out to a world that no longer wants to hear our message, because our lives look like they were directed by Harmony Korine.

We wade through the same monkey poo and life struggles as everyone else, but insist we're still sparkling fresh, like some wholesome ABC family Original. Believers, we might be edited for Hallmark channel, but our lives are no better than Showgirls. (You should not watch that one, by the way. It's horrible.)

Guys, we are turning people away in droves. Have you been on Facebook lately? Egads. We are the meanest and most confusing people on the internet. We are known for ours self-inflicted scars, terrors we've caused, and the answers for things that no one is questioning. Is it any wonder why no one wants to see our masterpiece?

Let's have real talk: Our movie sucks and we're blaming everyone else in the industry for it. We're a group of people pretending to be pretty for Jesus, pandering some sad story and suing when people don't like our characters.

We are trying to sell a black and white film, on a VHS format, to a world that can get the same story line, with better actors, a solid soundtrack, streaming for free and now featured in 3D.

Obi Wan Kenobi says in Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones, "You want to go home and rethink your life." And you do. You really do. I want you to take a moment and and get inside the actors studio. Get candid about what kind of movie you are making in your life and ask yourself if you would watch that stinker? Cause, right now, I don't know if I've got enough character or content for a reality series, forget the big picture. Guys, I don't think E! would even air this hot mess.

We are not the directors, not even the lead actors, we are mere bit part players, big pretenders and possibly the editors of something that will glorify the Lord, but only if we follow where He leads.

Let's pray, I suggest Psalm 25:4-5, and ask God to direct us. Let's seek the Father, get out of this filth and find the direction to make our lives films that would be worth watching.

Growing up in evangelical churches, I can tell you a thing or twelve about "testimonial" services. I loved listening to different people get up and testify about how God was renewing, redeeming and renovating their hearts and lives. Sure, every now and then there was a loon talking about how her cat was born again and now has begun to prophesy to the neighbors, but for the most part it was just real, normal people excited to share what God has done.

Psalm 30:11-12 says, "You did it: you changed wild lament into whirling dance; You ripped off my black mourning band and decked me with wildflowers. I’m about to burst with song; I can’t keep quiet about you. God, my God, I can’t thank you enough" (The Message).

Believers, we claim to have keys to eternal peace, joy and hope; what kind of jerks are we to keep it to ourselves?!?!

In 1 Samuel 17, we read the Sunday School favorite about David and Goliath. Who doesn't love the classic underdog victory for the Lord? We've probably all read it a few times, but I encourage you to read it again. Uh, now. I'll wait. Go read.

Did you catch 17:54? After slaying the gigantic bully, David chops off the head AND CARRIES it around. He carries a decapitated head of a nine-foot giant around with him! That horrific thing had a gaping slingshot wound right in the middle too. It was gore-o-plenty. And here this red-faced little guy is excitedly toting it around, showing it to anyone who will look. "Look what the living God did!!!"

Friends, I am not saying you need to carry your gross baggage around for all to see, but I am asking why you wouldn't want to? God helped you get out of the nasty and with His grace you have defeated the giants we all face! Why wouldn't we want to scream about it?

"Oh, well, Hannah, I've struggle with some real nasty things and I just don't think it's a good place to share it." Ugh, again: David carried a decapitated head around with him! Friend, what you got can't be anymore creepy. Quit being so prideful and start getting 3D. Get high definition, all sorts of gross, all up in peoples' faces. Let them know what God can and has redeemed. "You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people" (Genesis 50:20).

"Oh, but Hannah, I still struggle with the ..." Shhh. Just stop right there. Friend, Darth Vader and I both "find your lack of faith disturbing." Maybe you don't feel you've overcome the big giant just yet, but think about all God has done in your life so far. Now, talk about it! We are a forgetful people. We need reminders. Think of all the altars, stones and sacrifices that the Lord calls for in the Old Testament. Being transparent about where you are on this long walk is often a testimony to others and reminder to you that God is still the living God. Dump your burdens and carry your reminders. Show others what God is doing in your life. Tell people what God has done!

Believers, I think it's time you share your testimony. Tell your story, in your language. Here, I'll start. You can read my story here: http://awfulappealing.blogspot.com/2012/08/august-and-everything-after_29.html Or you can read this: God is redeeming heartache into healing. He has turned my sad song into a disco party. God has taken that once unrelenting hurt, my story of rape, rejection and real crazy and turned it into a story that I can share to help others heal. The past year has been nothing short of a miracle. I once felt used, abused, forgotten and unforgivable and I'm here telling you today, God wants to take those falls, fails, hurts, horrors and real big defeats and turn them into a life lived like a warrior. I fall short on so much, but look what God has done! Believers, we have not arrived, but the battle is already won.

Carry that victory with you. Show that gross thing to anyone willing to look and listen and then encourage them to share their story, too!

 Today, I am giving you a challenge: Write down, speak out, record a video, paint a picture -- I don't care how you choose to tell your story, but tell your story! Share what God has done and what He continues to do! Break out the old hand fans and tambourines; we are going to have our own, old school testimonial service ... via the web. Share that dead thing you've been carrying around. You carry it for a reason. I'm excited to hear what God is doing in your life.

It should be no secret that I enjoy crime TV. I am fascinated with forensics and I love seeing a story's conclusion, even if it's not exactly a, well, good one.

One of my favorite crime series is called Behind Mansion Walls. It's not just a typical "who done it," but rather a dissection of how riches so often destroy. The show serves a poignant reminder to my greedy nature that riches can often be a curse in disguise.

Now, I absolutely believe God can and has blessed people with funds and fortune. Remember Solomon? "King Solomon was greater in riches and wisdom than all the other kings of the earth" (1 Kings 10:23). I believe money can benefit many, but it's the love of money that is the door to debauchery and terrible. 1 Timothy 6:10 says,"For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs."

And really, guys, how many times have we watched money turn decent, respectable people into walking F5 disasters? Five minutes into that tacky TMZ show and you'll see the world's wealthy elite acting like a bunch of fools. Yet, here we are celebrating their lavish lifestyles like it's something to awe. Yes, I understand why people want things, but I can't understand why anyone would want the life that comes with that much currency. Holy dollar billz, Batman, I will gladly take the peace that passes understanding over a life that looks like a cluttered vacancy.

Proverbs 30:8-9 says, "Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, 'Who is the LORD?' Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God."

 Notorious B.I.G told the the truth, y'all, Mo money, mo problems. And honestly, if you think a large sum of cash will solve your problems anyway, well sugar, you just got problems.

In recent news someone won an asinine amount of money from the lottery. I've had lots of friends and family play those scratcher tickets, and although I don't think it's wrong or evil to simply play, I think the desire to gain such vast fortune is absolutely wackadoodles. To me, there is nothing appealing about having that much money. When the winner is announced, my first thought is never to congratulate or envy them, but rather to pity them and pray for them. It might sound silly to you, but to me, that much of a good thing is terrifying.

All in all, I want to be thankful with the portion God has provided me. Let what I have be perfect and my heart ready to give it away. That's a life to celebrate. Ya'll  rich and famous can keep your lifestyles.

Believers, instead of glorifying the wealthy and lavish, let's glorify the Lord. Let's show this greedy, broken world that we desire the fruits of the Spirit more than the fruits of our labor. (Or in the lottery's case, everyone else's labor.)  Let's be thankful for what God has provided, because we need our daily bread, not a fabulous feast that we could never finish.

Pray with me today and ask God to make you honest and content, wanting neither poverty nor wealth, but simply your daily bread. After all, that is how Jesus taught us to pray, right? (Matthew 6:9-13).

Yep, that's Mama and Papa D and all seven of us.

At five years old I had life pretty figured out. I was going to be the world's first dinosaur-digging, award-winning writer/detective/historian/fashion designing/lounge singing/artist, stage and screen legend and obvious a Jedi that owned a coffee/bakery/comic shop. I was going to be a massive success and, of course, it all was going to happen before I turned the ancient age of 25.

When my mother was five, she would have practically told you the same thing, but when she lost her own mother at the age of 13, her priorities shifted. As tragedy hit her family, God illuminated her heart and sparked a ministry. She knew she was born to raise up others; she knew she was created to be a mother.

When she met and married my dad, they shared the same goal of being parents and hoped to raise a large family together. Months into their marriage, however, they found out that they were both unable to have children of their own. Devastated, they fasted and prayed, and yet still felt God was calling them to be parents. God opened a door and my parents moved to Alaska and ran a foster home to 13 Tlingit Tribe children.

My parents believed that the call of being a parent is more than just physically having children; it's a ministry of pouring a foundation and building others up.

Mom and Dad worked in Alaska for five challenging, yet joyful years. But when Mom discovered she was, in fact, pregnant, she was considered high-risk, and the doctors insisted she move to a more stable climate with better access to doctors. My parents were reluctant to leave the foster home, but God provided another loving couple to take their place. Knowing God was leading them into a new adventure, they moved back to Washington, and within that year my brother John was born. My parents then went on to have Elizabeth, Matthew, Andrew, Timothy, Rebekah and me.

Over the next 30 years, Mom and Dad became parents to hundreds. Not just to us, but our friends, and their friends and anyone who needed to be spurred on and encouraged. They loved, prayed and raised up anyone, because they believed they had that call.

My parents were created to be parents. They worked tirelessly, making sure they invested into each of our lives daily. They poured a foundation of faith and reassured us, always, that with God all things are possible. When I told them what I wanted to do with my life they encouraged me to "Take delight in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart." (Psalms 37:4)

 In 2 Corinthians 6:14, Paul urges, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"

Psalm 127:2 says, "It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to his loved ones."

Next to sewing and writing, napping is one of my favorite activities. My baby book is filled with my over dramatic nature and photos of all the bizarre places I have laid my head:

Awww, look at that little 4 year-old, narcoleptic Hannah.

Potty Chair? Phffft. Napping for amateurs.
Under the dresser? Of course.
Dryer? Fresh, warm snuggles.
Toy bin? Well, it's not a good choice until you've slept on it, I say.
Plate of mashed potatoes? Oh, you better bring it.

Although, I do so enjoy a timely nap, the ease of falling asleep has often been my enemy. The truth is, I usually can't fight falling asleep. It's been quite irksome. I have slept through family events, fun times and even important moments. I imagine that I look like how the disciples felt during those crucial moments before Christ's betrayal. In Mark 14:37 Jesus asked Simon, "Are you asleep? Couldn't you keep watch for one hour?" Yikes. Can you imagine their guilt? As a middle schooler, I hated this sleepiness so much that I began to memorize Proverbs about sluggards and hoped that I would not be known as some lame and lazy complainer. But fight as I may, Mr. Sandman loves to party around my face and I am left being a sleepy Simon.

By high school, it was evident that I couldn't duel the drowsiness and win. And it was also clear cut that finding me curled up, sleeping somewhere was not chiefly considered as cute anymore. Eventually, I was given the same diagnosis that my Dad has - I am borderline narcoleptic. This means I can usually feel when sleepy time creeps up on me, but there isn't much I can do about it. If it's getting bad, I can get up and move, and that will stall the fatigue, but when sleepy time approaches, you best watch out. I am coming for your shoulder, or that couch, or, well, anywhere, really. I am just going to need to sleep.

It's safe to say that the only way to keep functioning is for me to shut down for a few minutes. My Dad and I call these shut downs "power naps," and if I can take as little as five minutes even of a solid doze, I can be good to go. Yes, this sleepy time feels a tad intrusive, but this is how my body works. This is how I take care of it.

So why am I telling you about which one of the seven Dwarfs I am most like? Because I feel our culture doesn't respect the importance of rest. Yes, rest is important. In Japan it is considered an honor to find your employees asleep, because it means they have been working hard. In traditional Italian towns, the stores still break for a few hours in the middle of their work day, just to take a few minutes, eat something, and simply rest. Friends, by failing to rest, we are rushing ourselves into the grave.

"But Hannah, God hates laziness," you say. Believers, the Lord worked real hard for six days and then He rested. I am not sure when or why, but somewhere we decided that the act of resting, or taking care of ourselves, is somehow a selfish act. There is a huge difference between taking time to rest and just being lazy. For me, I have the extra help of feeling like I need sleep, but that doesn't negate the fact I am a human and I need rest. We all need rest.

So what is rest? Is it always sleeping? I don't know. I know there are lots of things my friends consider as restful activities, but I find scary ... like bike riding. That does not appeal to me in the least, but I doubt sewing a spring dress with embroidered grass and stitched on gnome would appeal to them either, so you know, whatever is restful for you, do it. Take time to rest.

And yes, there are people that will abuse the idea of rest, but here's a news flash: People are jerks. We will abuse anything and everything. That's why it's crucial that we learn self-control. To know when to say when, essentially. God  intended us to have balance in our lives. Work hard and rest well; that was the example He gave us from the beginning.

Your body needs rest. If you go too long without recharging, you will grow weary. Are you growing weary in your life? Do you need to take some time and take the Lord up on His gift of rest?  Maybe you don't need physical rest, but rather mental rest from the stresses of your life. Jesus beckons to us all, "Come all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Matthew 11:28-29.

Find rest and renewal from our Lord. He wants to give you rest, because He loves you.

Want to know more about how our busyness is bothersome to the Lord? Read what Jesus has to say to the two sisters in Luke 10:38-42.

Sometimes being a Christian and being a liberal makes Facebook feel a lot like an abusive relationship. For the most part that's why I try to avoid posting anything that will spark debate. I've learned my lesson to watch myself around believers that enjoy Fox News and spend more time on the the web than in the Word. Ya'll go for the throat, and for that reason I will choose peace over posting my opinion any day.

In high school I met a guy, we dated for almost three years. We went everywhere together, including my family's VW bus road trip to the beach. We made plans for life after high school; however, not too long after graduation, we broke up and I was in absolute disarray. My whole life was planned with this guy in mind. For days I sat in my room and played the Smashing Pumpkin's version of Landslide on repeat and wrote tragic poetry. My parents were growing weary of always seeing me mope around and they asked often if there was anything they could do. I just quoted Over The Rhine lyrics to them and went back to moping, writing and lamenting. I was embarrassingly sad.

 Eventually, I began to open up about the hurt and disappointment I had felt. My friends and family listened and tried to comfort my crazy, but I was so wrapped up in my own problems that I lost sight of who I was and what I was becoming. I let hurt turn into bitterness and I was becoming a terrible example of the joy we should have in the Lord. My dad suggested that perhaps I should remove myself from my own dark drama and plug into something that is more illuminating.

These kids were probably fine five minutes later.

That week at church, there was a desperate need for nursery and children's church workers. I signed up and I was promptly placed on rotation to help teach.

My first day on the rotation, a little three-year- old was amazed at the "shine-ees" on my face. He loved to point out my facial piercings and he told me often that he "liked me anyway." I needed to hear that.

The next time I was placed with infants. I snuggled up to a cranky little guy that I was determined to soothe. I prayed, swayed and sang for an over an hour, and eventually he cuddled himself into a nap on my shoulder. I needed to feel that peace after some big fussing.

On my next rotation, I was leading praise for the preschoolers. We set out a box of tiny instruments and we sang, marched and made noise for the Lord. At the end of one song, a robust four-year-old ran up, almost knocking me over. He enthusiastically hugged me and thanked me for being "fun."  When it was time to go, he excitedly told his Mom, "Miss Hannah makes loud like a kid, because she loves Jesus a lot." I needed to hear that Jesus could be seen through my joy and silliness.

During one stormy night at VBS, there was a tornado siren blaring. Instead of panic and chaos, a group of six-year-olds huddled around me and asked if we could pray. We prayed and then lights flickered before going out. A little girl spoke up and said, "Well, since we've already prayed, can I sing you a song I made about a Popsicle? It would be funner than just waiting in the dark." I needed to see that faithfulness in action and joy through patience.

The times I wasn't working, I spent praying and on a mission to renew my spirit. I prayed for fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) and hoped that working with these little kids would make me overflowing with childlike faith. Kids, however wild and crazy they can get, are still more loving, joyful, gentle, thankful, patient, peaceful and kind than 90% of the adults I know. Sure, some of them need to work on self-control, but really who doesn't? When they are upset or hurt, they get over it amazingly quick. They do not mope for days. They get up and do something about it. They are resilient like nobody's business. They aren't ashamed to seek help. They don't let disappointment turn into bitterness. If they hurt someone, they are quick to apologize. They are amazed by things we adults scoff at and they find hope and have faith for all things. Even during the roughest times, children will find something to be cheerful about ... and this is the message I needed to witness. This is what Mark 10:13-16 illustrates so clearly. Jesus said we must become like children. At the end of each shift I left thinking, Man, I've got a lot of work to do.

Now, I am still learning to be both mature in faith and childlike in hope, and I still have mopey sad times, but Proverbs 26:11 has already called me out on that. The Proverb says, "As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool returns to his folly." Ew. I want to be fun like a child, but I am real tired of acting like a fool. This is  why I still volunteer for children's ministry at my church and precisely why I cherish it so dearly. It also may stand to reason, also, as to why I tweet so many of my children's, The States', quotes. We all have a lot to learn from children.

So here's your mission, should you choose to accept it: Whatever you are going through, whatever is happening in your life, I want to encourage you to remove yourself from your drama and plug into the Lord. Find something else to do that isn't sitting around and pouting about how things did not turn out the way you had planned. It's fine to feel sad sometimes, but don't be high school Hannah. Find something to be cheerful for, friends. Get out and do something different. I mean, if it is making you so mad/sad/bad and indifferent, change it. And if you can't change it, find something else to focus on.

Friends, you cannot control what happens to you, what others do, or the success of your plans, but you can control your attitude. Today, pray that the Lord ignites childlike faith, wonder and hope in your life.

I would love to hear from you! Have you been renewed by removing yourself from the focus? Do you have verses that helped you through a time you needed hope and peace? Let me know! I would love to rejoice and praise God with you.