Hammer on Anvil '

"Miss," he blurts out,"Your jacket? Is that meant to be a testimony to the Lord?"

Chuckling, I look at my jacket, a thinning black shell. A jacket I've worn for 10 years, bearing an arm patch that reads, "Satan Sucks."  I cheerfully say, "Why yes, it is! Bought it off a Christian biker gang when...," He cut me off and huffs, "Well, I find it offensive."

"Oh well, I am sorry, sir, I ..." he cut me off once more. He declared he had been a minster for 43 years and he had never witnessed such a vile irreverence as my apparel. My apparel being a floor length dress, combat boots, scarf and an old, black jacket that bears, what I believe, is an honest statement. He proceeded to scorn me for my various physical offenses (nose ring) and continued to boast about his superior faith. When I tried to say that we served the same God, he bristled and his tangent became louder. To say the least, this guy was fired up and on a warpath. He talked bout his military service and his ministry. He suggested I change the patch to the less offensive, "Satan is a rascal." Now, at this point, I was just vaguely annoyed. I felt his indigence for a bluntly truthful phrase was leaning into preposterous territory, but I listened to his opinion and I was respectful. I thanked him for his service in the military as well as his service in ministry, and then I tried to thank him for his honest opinion and boldness in the Lord, but he once more shut me down and interjected, "No, you aren't hearing me. I find you," making a gesture to all of me,"to be a poor testimony to the Lord."

Whaaaaattttt? I mean, wow, what can you say to that? I was unprepared for the weightiness of that awkward interaction. I have been called a bevy of bad things by cranky believers, but to hear from a complete stranger that my entire person was a poor testimony was beyond hurtful.

So what's the lesson here? I know Proverbs 12:1 says, "Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid." And I don't want to be stupid, but I also don't feel this was correction. I think this was just a cranky old man on a high horse that is real lame.

Yes, I am aware that the term "sucks" is not approved for the evangelical midwest, but, here's a shocker: I don't want to approved by this stale religion either. I've tried my whole life to fit into the wholesome church facade, but I was told I wasn't even fit to serve them. http://hammeronanvil.blogspot.com/2012/11/trampled-by-saints-redeemed-by-jesus.html I was pushed out of the church and into the margins, and it was there I really began to encounter Jesus. I have had to work out my faith, my own walk with the Lord, with fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12). I know where I stand and I know where I come from. I have been deceived, I have defiled and I have been completely destroyed. I write this blog to say that there is a love that covers a multitude of sins. And that is why I feel that patch is important. It's part of my testimony in my language. I've been there, I've done that, and I have a patch to prove it.

This might be the face I was making.

Friends, however rough the language is, I feel it is appropriate for the enemy. "Rascal," you said, Sir Grouchy Pants? That isn't even close. That's Our Gang talk. Buckwheat is a rascal. Taste and see the Lord is good and  then follow up with this thought: Satan is not Alfalfa. He is not a prankster. He is a destroyer. He isn't playfully teasing you; he wants you to hurt. He sets traps and lies in wait, laughing in delight as we blindly stumble into slippery slopes and deadly sins. He wants us to flail, fail and yes, he wants us to die. He wants us dead so bad that he will cheerfully love us to the grave. That's why he is so awful! His tricks are real and they are everywhere. It's not the antics of Little Rascals - he is evil. Look around! Look at how many people have fallen into his traps. Look at how often you have fallen! Look how easy it is for you to still fall. The world is writhing in pain and dying in grief, and we are no different if God's presence is not with us. Don't you see how deceived we are? There are other ways to say it, but simply, Satan sucks.

 Believers: We do not stop being humans when we become Christians. We are set apart because we are supposed to have the Lord's presence in our lives. If His presence is not with us, there is nothing that sets us apart. It is not the "Jesus Saves" tee you sport or the wholesome family-friendly programming you cherish. If His presence isn't in your life, in your actions, in how you treat others - you are no different that anyone else. The dainty subculture we have guarded ourselves with has really left us void. We believe we are special because Kirk Cameron makes movies about it. That means nothing! We have created a completely irrelevant and useless faith by pretending that life fits into our pretty people country club dress codes. "There is grace, but not for you"- That is what we are saying. We can't say "sucks," but we can read about stories of gang rape and murder in the Bible? That's weird, guys. Suddenly the grace we sing about no longer seems that amazing. Not if the Lord's presence is gone ... And honestly, looking at the church, I wonder if it is gone?

Let's be honest: The typical American Christian church is in need of a dire renovation. Our faith makes people roll their eyes and turn away. It's not the truth of the gospel that is repugnant. It's us. That's our fault. God's grace is amazing, but it's made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9.) Tell people, in your words, what God is doing. "Sing into the Lord a new song! Sing into the Lord all the Earth" (Psalm 96:1). Let's dump out this kiddy pool of stagnant and stale water and fill our lives with a fresh word and living water. Are you with me on this? Are you ready to say, "I've had enough"? Because I certainly have. I don't want these filthy rags, or even this "Satan Sucks" jacket. I want the Lord and I want His presence. I believe our faith is in a crossroads and we are on the brink of revival. It's time, Pretenders. What the church is and what we are called to be are two different things. And I don't know about you, but I am ready to follow the Lord, wherever He leads. I have done it all and I have seen it all, and I can tell you two things for certain: God is love and Satan sucks.

Hi all!

So, I want to start by sharing something that is totally a God thing. As I was preparing to share my testimony on here, I remembered somewhere else that I had shared my testimony. My fiancé and I (we get married in less than two weeks btw!) met on eHarmony and we shared testimonies early on. To save time, I thought it would be helpful if I took a look at what I shared back then and maybe even just use that. Well, when I found it, I saw that it was EXACTLY one year ago TODAY that I shared my testimony with her. How crazy is that?!? Totally a God thing!

Anyways, here's my testimony. :)

I was raised Catholic. When I was growing up, it seemed to me that what I was being taught about Christianity didn't seem to match up to how people lived and acted. It's important to note that I could've gotten that impression in any denomination, not just Catholicism. Anyways, in middle school, I started reading the Bible on my own (something that is not encouraged in the Catholic church as much as it is in Protestant churches). I learned a lot about God and got really fired up, but it was aimless. I wanted to learn more about other denominations. In high school, I briefly dated a Baptist girl. During a youth retreat with her church, her youth pastor explained what it meant to be born again - something I had never heard before because Catholics don't emphasize that part of the Bible.

In college is when I really came to know Christ. I worked at Windermere Baptist Conference Center over three summers, where I learned a lot about...well, a lot...from the other summer staffers. Over time, I learned that although I don't like the idea of different denominations, my beliefs most closely match that of Baptists.

I don't have any clear "moment" when I became a Christian. I didn't even know what an "altar call" or the "sinner's prayer" were until I dated that girl in high school. To be honest, those concepts made me question my faith rather than making me feel confident in it. There was a long time when I wondered if I was really a Christian since I had never had a "moment." I prayed the "sinner's prayer" on several occasions after learning what it was because I was afraid that I had somehow done something wrong since I didn't have a "moment." As I gained maturity, though, I came to the opinion that, although accepting Christ is very, very important, the concept of a "moment" of surrender is overemphasized in the Baptist church while the concept of daily surrender and accountability is perhaps underemphasized.

Now, I wouldn't trade how I came to know Christ for anything, because I've seen how God has used it to give me a unique viewpoint, a way to see things that I probably would have missed if I had been raised differently. So, yeah. That's my story. :)