Hammer on Anvil '

I love this quote by Andrew Murray (see graphic at right). We can never be good enough or clever enough to earn God's love. He loves us because we are His children, created in His image.

I confess I have struggled with skewed ideas about the love of God. It is so stupendous that simple-minded human beings have difficulty wrapping our minds around it. Particularly if you have been raised by harsh parents who only expressed love if you "performed" to their liking, embracing the Father heart of God is a big stretch.

Over the years, I have talked with dear brothers and sisters in Christ who have expressed some of the same struggles, which is why I wanted to blog about this subject. I hope to clear up some common misconceptions about the love of God.

Someone very dear to me (I'll call her Jill) struggled with infertility for years. She believed God was punishing her because she had an abortion as a teenager.

Another sister confessed she was scared to death to give herself entirely to God, for fear that something dreadful would happen. She had recently come to me for mentoring and was making progress in her Christian life, when suddenly her beloved grandfather died. She was convinced that his passing was a direct result of her walking in newness of life.

These are very real concerns. In a society where Christians condemn abortion and show little compassion to women who have experienced it, no wonder Jill thought her infertility was a curse from God. After I helped her to see that her theology was faulty, I prayed for God to open her womb. Eventually Jill was able to conceive, and gave birth to a son. To show Jill how much He loved her, God added another little bonus -- her son was born on the anniversary of the abortion. A calendar date that once brought condemnation is now a cause for celebration.

The fear about giving oneself entirely to God is a common one. People seem to be convinced that one of two things will happen:

• something terrible will happen to someone they love
• God will ask them to move to some horrible place to be a missionary

Where does this theology come from? Well, from a lack of love on our part, for one thing. God loves us so passionately that He sent Jesus to die for our sins. And Jesus says whoever wants to be His disciple must take up their cross daily and follow Him (Luke 9:23). That's where we bristle, I think. We read that and groan, and wonder what our "cross" will look like.

The problem with all this is our FOCUS, my friends. All of these fears are about US, and saving our own hides. When our thoughts take this kind of trajectory, it is clear that we are not in a good place with God.

Jeremiah 31:3 says God loves us with an everlasting love. Zephaniah 3:17 says God will quiet us with His love, and rejoice over us with singing! One of my favorites is 1 John 3:1: "See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!" If we truly believed God loves us like this, we would stop fretting about our own sorry selves.

True love for God is expressed in a zeal that wants to spend every waking minute in His presence -- and that is our birthright as His children! We can have unbroken communion with Him, constantly pouring out our hearts in thanksgiving and praise and worship. The Holy Spirit will guide us into all truth (John 16:13), and help us discern God's will for our lives. Micah 6:8 says it very simply: "What does the Lord require of you, but to act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God?"

For some, following Jesus may mean going to a dangerous mission field. For all of us, it will mean suffering at times. Jesus said we will experience tribulation in this world (John 16:33). John 15:20 says, "A servant is not greater than his Master; if they persecuted Me, they will persecute you also." Salvation is a free gift, but following Jesus comes at great cost.

God's love for us is not in question here -- it's our love for God. We are selfish and want to live comfortable, convenient lives. When we truly understand His love for us, we will love Him selflessly in return, and every day offer our bodies as living sacrifices (Romans 12:1). His love for us will compel us to be emptied of ourselves so that we can pour out our lives in service to Him. Everything we do, when done joyfully unto Him, can be a sacrifice of praise!

"There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear" (1 John 4:18). We will have no fear when we are secure in God's love for us, and love Him with all our hearts.

Do you ever get impatient about progress in your spiritual life? I sure do. Just when God has me where He wants me, I hear a sermon or overhear a conversation about what someone ELSE is doing, and I think to myself, "Man, I am so lame! I need to be doing THAT!"

Wrong. God does not direct our lives based on what somebody else is doing for Him. In fact, many times those situations are temptations the enemy throws in our path to divert us from what God wants US to be doing.

Case in point: the past month or so, God has been tenderly bringing me back to the basics. He has to remind me frequently that I need to be simple like a child. This particular time, He used a well-worn book I have had for years -- Brother Lawrence's The Practice of the Presence of God. Something happened in me spiritually as I read it again (for the zillionth time!). This paragraph really resonated with me:

I'd been brought up to be a regular church-goer, and for all my conscious life I'd believed in God and wanted to please Him. I'd assumed this was done by deliberate acts of worship, by prayer and study, by discipline and self-control. And I was discouraged because, instead of getting better as I got older, I found I was actually getting worse. The harder I tried, the more I failed.

As he walked one day, contemplating this conundrum, Brother Lawrence came to a beautiful tree he had passed many times. Its branches were weighed down with chestnuts. That's when God spoke to him.

It's hard to explain, but this is how it came to me. In the winter this old tree was bare, stripped of its leaves, apparently dead. In the spring, new life flowed up from the soil through its trunk and branches. Then later, the flowers and finally the chestnuts appeared.

I was like the tree in winter. Myself, I was nothing -- dead, barren, without fruit. And, like the tree, I couldn't change by struggling or sheer effort. I, too, must wait for the hand of my Maker to touch me with life and change my winter of barren unfruitfulness -- in His own time -- into first the spring of new life and then the summer and fall of flower and fruit.

As I read these words, I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from me. Suddenly I realized my focus had been all wrong. Instead of striving to reach a certain state of spirituality [focus on self], I need to simply rest in my Maker's presence [focus on Him]. I can't do anything to speed up God's purposes for my life, or make anything happen that He knows I am not ready for. Rather than doing things out of obligation and duty, I can do everything as a labor of love for my Father. It is a freedom I have never known before. I get giddy just thinking about it!

Then came the temptation. I heard an amazing sermon, and the one who delivered it is a missionary to Muslims. He and his wife live in very dangerous places, and he has been imprisoned for his faith. He issued a challenge for Christians to stop being so content in their comfort zones, and be willing to do dangerous things for Jesus.

My response? I am so lame as a Christian. I need to go overseas and be martyred for my faith. There's just one problem with that line of thinking. It takes my focus off of God, and back to spinning my wheels, thinking I need to be doing what somebody ELSE has been called to do. I was experiencing condemnation instead of my new-found freedom. God graciously showed me the trap I had fallen into, and helped me crawl out of it. He reminded me of Brother Lawrence's words: "The One who patiently led the trees and the plants through their seasons would also lead me, if I would only submit to His loving and powerful hand."

It is fine to have ideals. It is fine (and highly recommended) to have your heart broken with the things that break God's heart. It is fine to be challenged by a call to action. But we all need to pray for discernment, and ultimately submit to God's will and His timetable.

Are you tired of spinning your wheels and trying to do things in your own strength? Do you play God, thinking you know what's best for yourself and others? I have been there and done that, and it is exhausting.

If you are there now, I encourage you to "Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens" (Isaiah 40:26). Shed the weight of self-imposed "religious activity," and embrace the freedom of a child.

Recently my husband, John, and I were called upon to provide respite care. It was our first opportunity since being licensed as foster parents in April, because I have had some health issues that would have prevented me from running after small children.

For those who are not familiar with respite care, it means providing care for children whose foster parents are temporarily unable to do so. In this case, the foster family had to go out of state for nine days to attend a funeral.

Three children, ages 5 and under, were our guests for those nine days. The youngest was still a baby, under two years of age. My biggest challenge was that at times she was inconsolable. She wailed and cried, and generally in those circumstances I am able to hold and comfort a child till they calm down. Not this child. She arched her back and pushed me away. It broke my heart because though comfort was there for the taking, she refused it.

At first I think my pride was a bit hurt. I reared three sons and am now the mother of three beautiful grandchildren, and I can't get a baby to stop crying? Have I lost my touch? John saw how distraught I was, and reminded me that it's not about us. My parenting skills were not in question.

I began to try to put myself in this little one's place. Though she was very young, she displayed definite attachment issues -- and it's no wonder. Already in foster care, suddenly she was dropped off at the home of total strangers. She had a blanket to call her own, but everything else in our house was totally unfamiliar to her. Why should she allow me to comfort her? Why should she trust me?

God used this situation to remind me that I am like this little girl. He is there all the time, and has promised to provide all that I need. Yet I have little tantrums and push Him away when He tries to draw me to himself. I have struggled with "attachment issues" with God because my relationship with my earthly parents was far from ideal. So how can I expect this precious little girl to attach to me in nine short days?

Yet she did attach. After a week or so, she was no longer content to simply be laid in her crib at night. She would squawk, and I would come in and rock her. Just a couple minutes was all she needed, and then she was ready for sleep. We had learned to communicate, and trust was established.

Are you like a little child who refuses to be comforted, or have you learned to trust in your heavenly Father? Even if your parents were abusive and/or toxic, you can learn to see God in a different light. He is not like earthly parents. He will never leave you nor forsake you. He truly is a Father to the fatherless (Psalm 68:5).

Recently my husband and I have been privileged to attend a number of weddings. We consider it an honor to stand with young people who are committed to God and each other. We understand the seriousness of the wedding ceremony, and that we are not there merely to observe -- those who attend are expected to actively support the bride and groom by praying for them and being there for counsel if/when needed.

At one of the ceremonies we attended, a couple sat next to us and we chatted briefly. During that time, we found out they are missionaries.

Imagine my disbelief, then, when the man proved to be one of the most self-absorbed individuals I have ever had the misfortune to meet. I witnessed what in my experience is a new low when it comes to disrespect and boorishness in a joyous public celebration.

Before the ceremony began, this man whipped out his cell phone and began playing a game on it. Throughout the entire thing, he sat there mesmerized by his phone. Through the sacred vows. Through the bride's tears, and the groom lovingly wiping them away. He didn't even look up when the couple was pronounced man and wife. And yes, he missed the kiss, too.

I would sort of understand if this person was a young teenager, or a child whose parents gave him a game to play to quiet him during the ceremony. And I would understand if he was a nonbeliever who simply didn't understand the sanctity of marriage. But this was a grown man who, as a missionary, should understand what God has to say about a man and a woman becoming one flesh.

I thought perhaps his wife would ask him to turn off his phone, but when he was stumped at one point about the game, she took the phone and played it for him! My husband and I couldn't believe it -- and it's not just because we're old fuddy-duddies. Our 22-year-old daughter-in-law, who was sitting with us, couldn't believe it either.

In society today, marriage is seen as irrelevant by an increasing number of people. Christ followers don't need to add to that warped view by being publicly irreverent during a holy celebration of a man and woman being joined together.